Planning A Wedding During Coronavirus

April 9, 2020

Planning A Wedding During The Coronavirus By: Andrew May

You began the wedding planning process for your perfect day, but little did you know you would be planning a wedding during the coronavirus.  This was a day and time that you put so much effort into and now with this global pandemic, being quarantined, and the recommended social distancing, many brides and grooms are left to wonder, what now?        

1.  Mindset: See Setbacks As Opportunities With Your Wedding Planning

The reality is, no one knows how long this is going to last, so I want to talk to you about what you CAN be doing during this time.  We often view setbacks as life being “out to get us.”  We can become the victim.  Or we can choose to see setbacks as new opportunities.  I am not an overly glass half full kind of guy.  The current situation with coronavirus, quarantining, and the impact it will have financially sucks.  But, you can see this as an opportunity to slow down and really figure our what you want for your wedding day. To get an updated daily number of cases of Covid-19 in the United States, see the CDC’s information here. This will help you to see whether the cases are still rising or falling off. It may help with your process.

This is a way to prioritize what really matters to you.  You will need to make sure your communication with your partner as well as your vendors is on point.  You have a right to feel bad for yourself, but don’t dwell there for too long.  Take action and be proactive. Many other people are planning a wedding during coronavirus and you don’t want to miss out on an opportunity, by sitting around and worrying, rather than taking action.     

2.  What Should I Do First Since I’m In Quarantine Due to Coronavirus?

Contact ALL of your vendors. At this time, do not worry about what is in your contract. Focus more on what you need and on what your vendors are willing to do for you. Contact all your wedding vendors and see how they are willing to work with you.  The truth is none of us have seen anything like this in our lifetime.  My contract states that in order to book, you must put 50% of the final amount down.  If you reschedule or cancel your wedding for any reason, that money is forfeited.  In this instance, I personally would make exceptions, even though what is written in our contract contradicts that.  You will save yourself loads of time by simply calling your vendors, rather than pouring over multiple contracts only to find out that vendors are much more willing to work with you than you may think. 

Most photographers are willing to reschedule if the future date is available.  Luckily, we have a team of photographers and can likely take care of you. One of my brides told me her biggest takeaway when planning a wedding during coronavirus. She said, she wished she had called her vendors straight away and realized that they were willing to work with her. Instead she hesitated and began creating a narrative in her head that all the money they had put down would be forfeit. What she realized was that all of her vendors were willing to work with her and not charge additional fees to move the wedding.  

3.  Will I Lose All Of My Multiple Deposits Because of the Coronavirus?

Most venues at the present time have postponed everything through the end of May.  The majority of your vendors are not charging rescheduling fees.  We are here to help you, and we realize this situation is not ideal or what you had hoped for.  Many venues are telling couples to refrain from calling to reschedule, and that they will reach out to reschedule.  This may make you feel like you have no agency.  In all likelihood, your venue will reschedule, but not give a refund.  The same is true for your photographer.  

Most contracts have a force majeure clause.  This basically frees one or both parties from liability or obligation when a force beyond our control becomes present.  This can be war, riots, crime, pandemics, and is often described by the legal term “Act of God.” This is not a way for people to get out of performing the service.  It is, however, a way for businesses to protect themselves from not being able to fulfill a service or obligation based on forces outside of their control. 

Usually this is only for the period of the force majeure, or the quarantine in our case.  So, in essence your vendors will try to reschedule, but if you decide to walk away because of scheduling conflicts, legally the vendors are not liable to give you a refund.  It sounds a bit callous, but in order for businesses to stay afloat during this time, they also need to retain their income.    

4.  Coronavirus and Unemployment Has Killed Our Budget

With roughly 17 million Americans filing for unemployment, our economy is really hurting. The Bureau of Labor Statistics have put out some staggering numbers.   Many Americans are out of work and many small businesses have taken a huge hit.  You may be someone who has really suffered as a result of this crisis.  Despair will not serve you in this moment, but rather taking stock of what is really important.  We cannot change our circumstances, only HOW we react to our circumstances.  What do you want moving forward? 

Reassess your “WHY” for getting married.  Is your wedding day about the big celebration, a massive reception with friends and family?  Truly sit down with your partner and ask them what is important.  You can create a list from most important to least important.  If there has been one benefit of Covid-19, it’s that we have been able to have time to really assess our priorities.  Start to ditch the things that aren’t as meaningful to you.  If you find that you really just want something small and intimate, you can choose to have an adventure elopement or intimate outdoor wedding instead.

5.  Plan An Intimate Wedding Or Elopement Instead

Nothing like a middle of the road stance.  Do what is right for you as a couple.  Here are 2 good options for you.  If you are wanting to save money, you may consider having an elopement instead.  Some people still see the word elopement as the cheap, ugly step child of the better more grand traditional wedding.  I have written another article that shows just how amazing elopements can be. The article is Choosing An Elopement Over a Traditional Wedding.  This article talks about all the money you can save by simply eloping instead.  I am talking about saving over $10,000.  Now, you may lose your money on the retainer for the venue, but you might find, that something smaller and more intimate is more right for you anyways.  If this sounds like you, then we should chat.

You can elope anywhere.  Even with travel restrictions and a tenuous economy, you can still plan the absolute perfect day for you and your partner. Many airlines including American and Delta are waiving flight change fees for a certain period of time. Flights are super cheap right now. Check here for a full list of airlines waiving change-fees.  If you want to elope specifically in Asheville, North Carolina where I am based, check out: How To Plan the Perfect Asheville Elopement. I recommend Asheville Marriages if you are looking for a great officiant. 

6.  Our Date Is Really Important To Us

If you are not wanting to elope, but your wedding is scheduled for this roughly 8 week period from March – May, you can have a ceremony still, and if possible get a marriage license.  The fee for a Buncombe County marriage license is $60 and they take credit/debit, personal check, money orders or cash.  The marriage itself is essentially a ritual in which you and your partner mark your love in a meaningful way.  The marriage license is simply a paper telling the government that you are “official.”  You can still have a ceremony and fill out the paper work, and keep your date.  You can postpone an entire year if the date is that significant.  Or you can decide that the marriage itself is more important than the date.  I cannot tell you what is right for you.   

7.  Set Realistic Expectations While Planning Your Wedding During Coronavirus

I know that sounds a bit harsh, but the reality of lining up all the same vendors for a rescheduled wedding will be tricky.  I would definitely try to secure the venue first if that is the most important thing to you.  If it isn’t, I would make sure your photographer is available for the reschedule date before you set anything in stone.  Many photography businesses including ours have teams of people and can send someone from their team to take care of you.  The same is true for hair and make up in many cases.  If your photographer is not available because of the reschedule, just fill in the contact from below and we will get you taken care of.

I am Planning My Wedding During Coronavirus for This Summer/Fall

Let’s say your wedding is in September or October, and you are currently planning a wedding during the coronavirus quarantine. You cannot go out and try the dress on or meet with vendors. Right now Zoom is your best friend, and reaching out to others who are in a similar situation to you. Call up the bridal shops and see what they are offering and when the earliest you can get an appointment in would be.

Your vendors are your best friends right now. Your photographer is more than willing to talk through some practical things that you can be doing right now to plan. Communicate with everyone where you are currently in terms of the wedding. Send out a mass email to everyone letting them know that the wedding is still on, pending we are able to secure the venue. If you need to change this later, you can always send another email to keep people updated.

Allegory and Elm Photography is here for you during this crazy time.  We want to create an amazing wedding experience that isn’t tainted by stress, fear, and the unknown.  Your wedding day shouldn’t just be mediocre or something you did.  A wedding should make you feel entirely alive and in love. It should be a beautiful experience.  We want to capture that deep connection you have with your partner.  If you need to reach out for any reason, fill out the contact form here.  Be well, and stay safe out there.    

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