Devin proposed to his love and partner Eddie at the Biltmore Estate. Biltmore Estate proposals have become a bit of a constant in my life as of this year. Most people who would actually click on the image of two dudes kissing, don’t actually need to hear this message. My encouragement is that you share it with someone in your life who is completely averse to the idea of two dudes or two chicks being in love. It honestly feels weird to be doing a blog post about a gay couple in 2017, as if I have some message I need to get out about civil rights. This isn’t a political post as much as it is a message to those that are close to me that I love who have no tolerance or understanding of why a man would want to be with another man, or why a woman would choose to be with another woman. I will give you the quick answer right off the bat…LOVE. Love is the reason why. No, it’s not to gross you out, to be rebellious, or to piss God off. It is because they have no choice in whom they love in the same way you don’t have a choice with whom you love. The heart wants what it wants.
I will start by saying that I am not gay, but I do love the heck out of the gays. They are just like you and I, they just want to love and to be loved and to live their lives. One of my kids could turn out gay and I wouldn’t love them any less for it. Their lives are not mine to live or to dictate. Please know that this post is coming from someone who used to be very homophobic. But, over time I began to soften my heart towards the idea that a man could love another man the way I love my wife. The problem nowadays is that we live in a time where people with opposing views try to verbally or physically beat the other side into seeing things their way. We live in the age of outrage culture in which we have a constant need to yell our point and the only way for the other side to hear that view point is to be louder, more obnoxious, and more offensive rather than simply listening to what the other side has to offer. My only request would be that you read something that opposes the views you’ve come to know.
The main point I wish to make is that there is so much shame associated with homosexuality and I think it is a travesty. I don’t want to feel ashamed for loving anyone, nor do I wish to make others feel like they are doing something wrong or that they are somehow infringing upon my rights. Love is love. Straight love isn’t more pure, nor is it better, loftier, or holier. People often think of homosexuality in terms of sexuality rather than romance. Perhaps we should change the name to homoromance or homolove. No I am not a social justice warrior getting hung up on etymology, I just want folks to recontextualize how they think about gay people. I am not defined by my sexuality, so why should gay people be defined by their sexuality? These “gays” are people first and foremost, they are individuals, humans, with rights, thoughts and feelings.
As we have seen from the recent acts of violence in Charlottesville, hate will always be in the world. Hate is taught and learned, it is not intrinsic. Hate is easy, fill your heart with enough of it and you leave little room for love, tolerance, and kindness. To quote the all wise one, “fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.” -Yoda. Many people fear what they do not understand, which in turn leads to hatred. Let’s put some positivity into the world. Stop putting shame into the world with internet comments, memes, and a general attitude that you are better than someone else. Let’s stop shaming others and treat everyone with love and respect, because that is what is right to do. Truest love knows no shame and is a beautiful thing to behold.
absolutely beautiful in its entirety. made me cry very hard